I’ve been feeling decidedly blah the past few days. I think it’s a combination of OD-ing on social commitments (the severely-belated housewarming that I had on Saturday was a huge success, but so exhausting!), being so freaking sick of summer (seriously, it’s been barely over 90 degrees the past week, but I’ve had my a/c on non-stop because I’m so tired of summer that I’m going to make my apartment feel like it’s October, okay?!?), and generally feeling down about the state of the world and such.
So, not a whole lot going on on the apartment front. I tried buying a couple of cute (and wicked cheap) dresses, and I’m forcing myself to keep my social engagements (a party this coming weekend, a reception for incoming students of my grad program, another party the following weekend…), but I can’t seem to shake this funk. There’s just a strange feeling in the back of my mind that doesn’t seem to want to go away. It keeps saying that I should be saving more in case my job magically disappears (not incredibly likely to happen in the next two years–we have a contract to run this program through 2013, but given the current climate and the fact that we’re federally funded, anything is possible). It’s saying that I should try to prepare for a future where anything could happen. A future where my master’s degree could be even more worthless than it is now. A future where I am possibly unable to pay rent.
All of this thinking is driving me crazy. The whole world feels like it’s on a precipice, and I feel like I should be planning for every possibility.
I just feel strange.
I know nothing will come of all this, and we’ll all just keep trudging along as we always have. For now, I need to make myself focus on enjoying the moment. Just hopefully, in a way that doesn’t cost any of the money I should be saving just in case.