Berry Fail-Tart

A large portion of my cooking involves a whole lot of “So, what do I have on hand?” and half-assing and faking it.  And generally it works out–I have a damn good bolognese sauce that is my go-to every winter…but it only has one type of ground meat in it (ground turkey, because I’m cheap); I like to think that what it lacks in variety of ground animal, it makes up for in variety and quantity of spices.  I make amazing biscuits, working totally from memory.  I have a good 90+% success rate with yeast bread…

So, I was trying to think of a way to use up the frozen berries that have been taking up space in my freezer for quite a while.  And then I remembered that I also had a left-over frozen pie shell.  Berry tart!  Yum!

Or, you know, fail.  Seriously, I’m a pretty darn good cook.  And yet I usually manage to fail at the really easy stuff.

I found a recipe online.  It called for a homemade crust, but I only have about 2 tablespoons of flour on hand, and the whole point was using up what I already have (frozen pie crust).  So I skipped that part.  I also managed to skip the part where I probably should have let the berries defrost.  But I was apparently in a hurry, so I just dumped frozen berries in a bowl, tossed them with sugar (not enough) and cornstarch, and dumped it in the pie crust.  It was supposed to bake until the filling was bubbling, but I finally pulled it out, unbubbled, once it had already been in the oven almost twice as long as the directions called for (see:  frozen berries), and the crust was getting a little over-brown.

I then couldn’t wait until it was fully cooled to cut into it.  And even by the time I got to the last piece (at which point it was fully cooled and had even been in the refrigerator), the juices still hadn’t done anything approaching solidifying (see:  not cooking until bubbling).

So, it was a whole lot of fail.  That didn’t stop me from eventually eating all of it, but it was decidedly meh.  Meh crust, meh filling, meh texture.



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